nothing more, nothing less.

So, like usual, someone decided to shit on my life basically. I know I'm a good person, but it seems as though bad stuff only happens. I'm going to quote Charlie Brown now; I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I am, something bad always happens. I am not moving now, I unfortunatley have to stay in this crap place, living where I don't want to live, but I really do try to feel greatful everyday, even though I just want to leave ! I miss my friends, and family, when I cry, it makes me seem weak and honestly when you cry, people don't feel sorry for you, they just want you to shut the fuck up. I kind of fucked up, I can never do anything right. All we want is to feel loved, and to be happy no matter what. I'm trying to be positive and happy, but I'm not strong all the time. Everytim I get to see my little buddy, I have to leave him, the feeling is, someone putting my broken heart back together, then just ripping it out again. I love him so much, and really messed up things. I just need a miracle, or to be saved. I miss my life. Something, anything, anyone. Please save me.

I'm Moving !

Goodbye Maple Ridge, Hello Whistler.

I have never been to Whistler, nor have I ever been snowboarding or skiing yet I am now moving there in two weeks time. This shall be a very fun adventure. Good luck to me and my two guy friends for us getting a job and for it all to work out. We will create many memories and take lots of pictures. I am so excited. I feel like I am starting fresh, a whole new life ahead of me. I can hardly wait, I'm getting all excited and we aren't even there yet. We're all still on phase one. It is supposed to be for a short period of time, but I know in my heart that I might not even come back to this place. I have lost everything, my family basically, I have nothing to lose.
I'm sure all of you are off to school now, I would really like to hear all about it, you're lives are for sure busy now. I wish all of you the best of luck ! I love you all. Please keep in touch with me, any way that you can.

I apologize for all the cruel things I said about you, I just figured that friends shouldn't do what you did to me. I have been thinking, you are all too special to me to lose. I hope you accept my apology. I will never forget you girls.

What a shame to put someone that you are supposed to love unconditionally out of your life just like that ! I have felt like a piece of garbage before, but never as bad as this. I thought you loved me, and I thought I knew what love was, I was wrong, is this love ? If so, it doesn't feel like what I always dreamed it would be. I have completely lost everything in a matter of minutes. I sometimes think it's for the best, but at times I think to myself, "am I doing things right, is this how it's supposed to be for me?" Materialistic objects I have no care for, but the one and only thing that I will miss the most is my bestfriend. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, but you were in my thoughts and I will see you very soon ! I want you to know that everything happens for a reason, you are the sweetest person I have ever known. I miss your cute smile and adorable laugh. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Be strong, stay happy, never stop being a little social butterfly. Watch our shows for me, email me always, call whenever you need to talk. I will see you as much as I can. I hope you read this. I love you soo much buddy. You will be the most important person in my life, forever.

Through all the years I kind of knew that this would happen, well it has before several times, just never this permanent. I guess it's time to grow up, and get my life started. I love you Mom, but this time you took it way too far. All of my stuff out of the house, crying to me, but not even caring. Not allowing me to come to my own brother's birthday celebration. I strongly believe that you will nolonger be in my life anymore. I miss you Mommy.

Time to get my tan on.

G O O D B Y E PASTY W H I T E BODY.

O'hai, BEST FRIEND !?

the begining of the end.

nothing but..   DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.

How dare you put someone else down, when you should really deal with your own "freaky spastic" issues. You just make me laugh, of how pathetic you are to have no guts to say all of your nasty word vomit, to our faces. Clearly you have made no effort, therefore there is no need for anyone else to waste their time. It's a little bit like a doctor Seuss book, we don't act like friends, we don't like each others attitudes, we don't hang out or make plans---doesn't look like a friend, doesn't act like a friend, I'm guessing we aren't friends, and never really were. You hurt my best friend, and you hurt me. Word of advice, don't assume that people cannot do things with you, when you haven't even made the effort to ask. Everyone is busy, don't use that as your excuse for not being a friend, I have seen her, why haven't you. Leave her alone, and stop harassing her with long unnecessary messages. That apology she mistakenly gave you, I take it back for her. I know that not everyone can get along all the time, but it's kind of funny how you are the one that always seems to open your mouths and complain. Who's whiny ? There is so much I've wanted to say to you, (but I haven't) since you have done everything in your power to make me out as the bad guy. Go have a sexy lesbian fest together !

Now, grow up, eat your words and swallow your drama.

I'll never forget you, I promise, fly with the angels Grandma.

Good things come to those who wait, the power of positive thinking, thank you. I got myself the full-time job at Hopcotts. It's going to take some time getting used to it, and getting the hang of things. I am now making money, and I have some time to think about what I want to do with my life and who I want to be. I am planning to move out at the end of August. Dene, I know one day soon, I will be able to truly say that I love you, but until then, I ruv you is perfect. I want to spend forever with you. I'm trying my best to let my walls down for you. I honestly believe you won't hurt me, but there is the pain from before still in my heart. I can hardly wait until it's gone. I look forward to sleeping in your arms tonight, and always. 

Being told you're beautiful and sexy really does make you feel like it, even more so, if you know it's true. I am filled with so much happiness knowing that someone cares about me and makes me feel so amazing. I was told that someone could tell how happy I was now, I got a feeling I always want to feel. Only one bad minor thing happened to me, my tongue ring had to be taken out since it was done wrong like all my other piercings. To top things off, I got a yeast infection in my mouth because of it. Two weeks it'll be back, and unfortunately so will the pain, AGAIN. 

What can I say, you live and learn. 

Example.

- Can I dip you in chocolate?

untitled.

Graduated now, hell yes ! I feel that now because school is over, I can actually be the person I want to be. I have realized that I don't have any real friends, which became clear right after the 29th. Who did you think you were fooling ? She didn't want to believe it, but she secretly and sadly knew it was true. You are all glued to the ass, and will never let anyone else share your ass. You think it's going to last forever, you're living in a fantasy, you'll grow up and move on. Not a single hello', and why should I have to stoop down to your nasty behavior and be the first. You were just rude. I knew this would happen, because we were never friends, nor did you ever accept my friendship. I don't really care for you all to much, but I guess I wish you a good life. This was necessary. Since when you post, it has nothing to do with anyone but the four. Peace to you.

Fly away old friends ' old life.

"I love you like a love song baby", I'm so happy I met you , I had my whorish phase, but you just make me want to be a better person overall. I said goodbye and that was because of you, so for that I thank you. I love your smile, and how goofy you are. I hope to someday call you mine. I'm waiting, but can I wait forever. & I truly love that you like me too. Laughing with you is the best thing I feel lately, laugh and smile with me always, please. I want you more than I want anything in my life right now. I know mine, you'll be. <3

I am revamping my image. Dressing however I want to dress, no matter what anyone says. Cause I don't really give a fuck about what other people think, unless they're important to me. I already was crazy, but I think I'm still crazy, now with a little extra on the side ! I got my tongue pierced. My millions of tattoos are next, along with my kitty ring and nose. Summer will have no regrets, but it isn't just summer it's the beginning of my life. My mommy keeps thinking of moving to the states, and before I was skeptical, but now go for it, pack up and go ! I am looking for that job, and once it comes to me, I am out of here. I love my life and I am enjoying all that it has to offer. I toke, I drink, I love, I laugh, I cry, I scream, I just live, and all that shit. 
Do what makes you happy. I do what makes me happy. Open your eyes to this reality.














         
                                           say hello to the new me. 
                            "I believe in the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie.

The Naked and Famous.

We're all young and naive still
We require certain skill
The motive changes like the wind
Hard to control when it begins

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Can't help myself but count the flaws
Claw my way out through these walls
One temporary escape
Feel it start to permeate

We lie beneath the stars at night
Our hands gripping each other tight
You keep my secrets hope to die
Promises, swear them to the sky

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

As it withers
Brittle it shakes
Can you whisper
As it crumbles and breaks
As you shiver
Count up all your mistakes
Pair of forgivers
Let go before it's too late
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper
Can you whisper

The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

split tribal earrings.

Oh, hello !? How badly do I want you, yummy !

i like to find songs.

I'm quite a different person.

I cannot even categorize myself.

I like this song.

I found it in a movie preview.

I want to see the movie.

The movie is, "The Art of Getting By".

( =

l'amour, el amor, rakkaus, amore.

What a frightening yet wonderful feeling, of graduating, spreading our wings and flying into the beginning of our lives. I thought I would be stressed about grad, but I am completely ecstatic ! I couldn't be happier. There's no need to worry about silly things or to have high expectations of how the day will go tomorrow. It will be a sunny beautiful day, filled with happy faces. There will be a lot to do in a little amount of time, but it will all work out, and we'll dance and play till the sun comes up.

I am so happy that everyone can go to dry grad. I looking forward to seeing all of my gorgeous friends and their dresses. I have been working so hard to get to this point in my life. The best part is, when the father daughter dance happens, I don't get to dance with my dad, but I get to dance with someone that's equally special if not more. Actually, so much more, my Mom's boyfriend, I thank him so much for being there for my mom and making her a better person, and for being there for me tomorrow. I hope you'll be the one to dance with me on my wedding day as well. Don't stress everyone, just have a good time, and I look forward to tomorrow ! Congratulations, we all did it, almost.

Grad 2011 Countdown !

6 5 4 3 2 1 simply a yesterday from today !

Carrie Underwood.

sometimes moving on with your life,
starts with goodbye.

Somone like you.

    "Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste."

I love Joey.

Adore.

Hold me tight and let me know, that whatever happens you'll never let go.

Friday the 13th.

Beauty.

I cried for the first time today, it had been awhile. I know that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me", but the truth is words do hurt. They belittle you, and make you feel so worthless. After they've been said enough, you start to actually believe these words. I've had my days where I have felt like a bad person, and said things I shouldn't have or didn't even mean. I don't want to be like those people, where their cruel words come out like vomit. Being called, emo lesbian, fat cunt, desperate skank, crazy bitch, the list goes on. Some of these are recent, like yesterday, I know none of them are true, but I almost started to believe them. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not worth it, or call you names, ignore those people, because you are a beautiful person, inside and out. We had to think of what beauty was for a class, and I wasn't there but mine were; (la beaute est les amies et la famille, & la beaute est les mots de la couer) it made me happy. Words are a way of expressing yourself but the way people use them isn't right. I am worth it despite what anyone says. In my eyes there should be no definition of beautiful, everyone is beautiful, no matter what they look like. Even those ugly people that use the words to hurt people, they're beautiful deep down.

* there really is no definition of beautiful, who got to decide this, no one should. 
beau·ti·ful 

adj.

1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.

2. Excellent; wonderful.

-YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, tell yourself everyday, even if you don't believe it, cause eventually you will.

Miracle.

"In each moment there is a possiblity for a miracle."

Yay, for today !

I am going to get my grad dress today, with my Mommy, I am excited but at the same time, a little nervous that it won't fit, but I'm going to be positive. Then after two of my friends get to see it, eek, I hope they like it, I hope I like it too, first time I've seen it. Until then, I am going to my Nana's to get bottles and take them back for money, to go to Alberta, I'm half way there ! and she has a grad present for me also, even though I haven't even graduated yet. I hope that tonight is a good night, we'll have lots of fun, and be very silly, if you know what I mean. I don't really have anything to say, I usually do, but not right now, I'm content and quiet.

Boy people.

Boys suck.

End of story.

What is.

Jealousy.

I want my own sexy nerd.

Lead singer: DROOL.

Brendon Urie, I want in your pants ! <3

Woot !

I AM GONNA GET OVER YOU WALL !

One born every minute.

I love the end of this video, priceless ! but poor baby !

aldskjfd.

Love Is.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I muchly enjoy this.

Televison.

 So, I know it's a horrible thing to say that you hate someone, and you should

really use the word dislike. And the truth is, I don't even know you Galen Weston.

But drastic times call for drastic measures, I HATE YOU ! I don't know why, I just do.

ADORABLE, in a weird way.

I love this, especially the last part !

Oh hai there !

Our new... wooden.. blowjob giving man ? Nope, it's a jellybean dispenser !

but my moms getting rid of it, and the jellybeans taste like public washroom.

Life as of now.

I completed what I thought was the impossible, scholarships are done ! I am quite proud of myself for that. School is just school for me, nothing interesting, I'm going golfing this Thursday though. I'm also excited about the fitness challenge that's coming up, I'm no athlete, but I'll do my best and just have fun. And I'm going bowling with Best Buddies, and with my work, creepy guy will be there, interesting. This morning Jesus knocked on my door, and I lost my mother, I have no clue where she was going, but she was going. We bought some Girl Guide cookies and as we were walking away the lady said, "thank you for supporting us" which I replied to my mom, "yes, aren't you just so good." and the lady said, "yes they are !".. refering to the cookies, but I was refering to my Mom, weird lady, she was. When I went with Millie and Flora, last night to this April Fools Day thingy, it was eye opening ! I have realized that I do not like head banging, mosh pitty music. People looked as if they were on drugs, but weren't, shoes were flying everywhere, we were slowly losing oxygen, and I am now deaf. And let's just say, Flora, you are an odd one, you little kitty. * and thank goodness for us that we didn't get sacrificed by weirdo band guys like in Jennifer's Body.  : ) Millie, you were shaking in your booties, but you did it, and that big smile on your face was priceless. Despite what all ya'll say, I didn't get punched in the eye, but it feels as though I did. It's pink eye, or something ! My eyeball is completely wacked ! Hopefully tonight we will all have a great time, with lots of laughs. We'll make some unforgettable memories, and we will have loads to blog about ! Thank you each and every one of you for being my friends, you have a special place in my heart, and forever you'll stay ! <3

Love, love, love.

How cute !

I was looking for pictures, and this one instantly made me have shivers, and made my heart smile.

Life.

It's Spring Break right now, and things are going good. I just read everyones blogs, and it was nice to know how people were doing, since we don't talk outside of school much. Sometimes reading them, I feel a little left out, you all have nicknames for yourselves and for other people, and I don't really know what you're talking about, it sucks. I am kind of lazy so I haven't completely changed my blog or wrote any posts, but hopefully soon. My birthday party was alright, it was akward having people over that you aren't really close with, and having a huge meltdown infront of all of them. Which I am sorry for ! I wish it were better. When a certain someone comes back from their exciting trip, we have a fun plan though, so let's hope it happens. Nothing really interesting has happened on my break, well nothing that compares to all of you, that went somewhere, while I'm stuck here. My cousin cut my hair and she's in training to become a hairdresser, and I think she did a good job, so I'm fairly content about that. I have done no homework, but I just recently found out that I am going to graduate no matter what, this feeling is unbelieveable ! I watched two movies last night, and they were not even worth it. I am procrastinating so many things, but I'm really happy for once, and I know they will all get done eventually, I'm not going to stress. Tomorrow I am making or watching my mommy make a fondant cake, and she is very eager to try her hand at it. I may post a picture, so you can all see. Good things have been on my mind, and I am going to make it stay that way. Although, I have been eating so much junk food, and I don't know why, I am so enormously huge, I need to stop, I don't feel beautiful at all, I don't even want to look in a mirror, all I see is fat, not even me. I need to do something about it, and exercise, I just have no self control, and I need to, or I'm not going to fit into my grad dress. Help ! Fruits and vegetables, all those healthy things, help me to help myself. I want to feel beautiful again. I just found out this afternoon that I have to stay at my grandmas house with my brother and mommy, since she's going to a wedding, joy, how fun will that be ? I also got a fish, his name is Rusell, name sucks, long story, but oh how I love him. I hope everyone else's Spring Breaks are going fantastic ! Blog people, blog !

Katy Perry Brand.

You're my idol, my favorite.

Salty and Pep.

.YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY THE CUTEST.

My heart goes out to you.

Alot of terrible things happened today, wherever they may have occured. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I will pray for you, and it will get better in time.

Yummy. < 3

Marry me ? ..... ALL OF YOU !